4 Surreal Realities of a Psychotic Episode

Since you’ve seen the title of this article, there’s no point in sugar-coating it. With people becoming more aware of various mental health problems, finding treatment for it is slowly becoming easier. However, there is still a massive stigma surrounding mental health, particularly psychosis. It’s very nature makes it difficult to understand and even more difficult to explain without sounding, well, crazy. Despite thinking I was one (you’ll see what I mean), I’m no Doctor, so I can’t explain psychosis empirically. However, if you can stomach clumsy metaphors, follow me down the rabbit hole as I try my best to explain what it was like to go through my episode.

1 – While there is build-up, it can strike at random

2011 and 2012 was an especially shitty time for just about everyone not named Kate Middleton. The recession still had a stranglehold on the economy, there were riots in Britain, multiple high profile conflicts in the Middle East and Chris Brown’s F.A.M.E somehow topped the album charts. It was especially shitty for me, as I had to witness all of this while working as a kitchen assistant. I worked ridiculously long hours (sometimes doing twelve hour shifts), barely had any breaks, I was constantly rushing around to get food prepared if I wasn’t washing an infinite pile of dishes while simultaneously being in charge of desserts due to under-staffing.

 

 

It didn’t help that the kitchen manager was basically this guy.

In a textbook example of my generation, I was also stuck in my student overdraft and living at my parents’ house. Working as a kitchen assistant put me off the idea of progressing in that field, plus I had other plans in terms of career prospects that I’ve been studying for (video game designer, writer, potential porn baron, etc.). The wages I did get for my unsatisfying job were just enough to survive and pay board money, but too slim to make any long term plans, so the only way I thought I could cope with my hopelessly stressful situation was through using cannabis.

I can already see you in the comments section, I know what you’re going to say. Pack it in.

In April 2012 eventually quit my job to look for work elsewhere, work I never found. All of this stress and dissatisfaction was piling on me like my name was Biff Tannen. I distinctly remember that it was a couple of weeks after I quit my job when “it” happened. I was sat at my desk one morning, ready to switch on my laptop when I suddenly saw a flash of bright light. In that seemingly random moment, my life completely changed.

If you’re thinking it’s anything like this, prepare to be disappointed.

2 – Everything is a trigger

In our gradually sophisticated and tolerant world, the word “Trigger” seems to have become so overused that it’s become a punchline for unimaginative trolls. The worst part is that different people have different triggers, so there is no empirical or logical way to deal with them. When you have psychosis, those triggers can be potentially anything and everything to fuel your delusions.

Even this might set someone off.

While some might scoff at the “special snowflake” cliché, there is some merit in it, especially when it comes to mental health. To try and help you understand the uniqueness of my episode (for lack of a better term), you have to understand that I’m a nerd. A huge nerd. The only thing stopping me from being the complete stereotype is the lack of glasses and understanding of algebra. One significant branch of my nerd-dom is Doctor Who, another is my love of video games. I’m a fan of internet reviewers such as Nostalgia Critic, Spoony and Linkara. Despite the film, I enjoy Green Lantern. I even studied philosophy at college and post-modernism as part of my university degree. You do the maths.

So there I was sat at my desk after being hit with this bright light. From my perspective the world became lucid and hazy. Reality no longer felt real. What if none of this is real? I constantly thought. Am I in a virtual simulation? The Truman Show? A dream? Have I become aware of the fourth wall? These were questions I was determined to find the answer to. I attempted to “play along” with reality, going about my usual business, but it became increasingly difficult to do normal things without finding some hidden significance. Profile pictures on Facebook were distorted, their status updates about walking the dog had significant subtext. Trying to enjoy my usual hobbies such as watching internet reviewers, playing games and reading comics instead reinforced my delusional perceptions, making my mind jump to bizarre conclusions that seemed perfectly rational.

Although some “clues” were more overt than others.

I even remember sitting down to watch a TV show (I think it was Top Gear), which jokingly used the Inception BOOM sound effect for some reason. To a rationally-thinking human that would just be a neat little reference. But rationality and psychosis go together like peanut butter and spam.

3 – The clues and patterns are everywhere

To bore you with some significant Doctor Who lore, there is the plot device of the Chameleon Arch. To put it briefly, it turns Time Lords into humans and rewrites their memory in the process, but can be used to restore their memories. This is what I thought happened to me. I literally though I was a Time Lord getting my “true” memories back.

Any Whovian can tell you how badly this can end.

So as far as I knew, I was a Time Lord trapped in some kind of false reality. I scoured the internet and my collection of books/games/etc. looking for clues. I played Zelda and Portal back-to-back in search of a connection that only ever existed in my mind. I excessively replayed Majora’s Mask believing I could somehow figure out time travel, reinterpreting online FAQs and guides as prophetic tomes that would help me reveal the secrets of reality. After all, nothing was a harmless coincidence any more. Speaking of coincidences, the plot of Majora’s Mask tied in nicely with the whole 2012 Mayan apocalypse, so I had Armageddon to deal with as well. Before the psychosis I thought it was a daft prediction.

As a side note, for a company often criticized for being too kid-friendly, Nintendo seem to make a lot of games about the end of the universe.

I wrote down all of these clues and patterns, making notes and a bizarre brainstorm graph in an attempt to rationalize them, or at least turn them into Damien Hurst-esque masterpieces. In my erratic wisdom I even attempted to build a TARDIS out of seemingly random objects I found lying around – if I was holding onto them, surely they were a vital component, right? Any reasonable human scientist will tell you that if you could build a time machine, a Gameboy probably wouldn’t be an essential component.

As well as constructing a time machine, I would wander out of the house at random intervals to look for more clues and glitches in this false reality despite never really having a clear goal. Electrical pylons were suddenly radio transmitters. I could “hear” people’s thoughts when I strolled past them. All of these signs were confirming that my delusional thoughts were real.

Thus proving Descartes wrong once and for all.

4 – Psychosis and psychopathy are vastly different

My psychotic breakdown lasted a week. It ultimately culminated when I went for a few drinks with a couple of friends who had no idea what was happening to me until I started acting and talking strangely, jumping around and speaking in techno-babble (at this point I really was The Doctor). In my confusion I even stepped out in front of a car, at which point my friends called my mum who took me to the hospital. I was officially sectioned under the Mental Health Act, diagnosed with psychosis and kept in a ward for three weeks.

Because this article has now reached maximum levels of maudlin, allow this picture of me, two years after my diagnosis, to cheer you up.

However, there is one thing I have to address. Being told at the hospital that I was psychotic was a metaphorical kick in the junk. Everything I ever knew or learned about insanity before actually going insane was negative. According to both fiction and the news media, anyone who was psychotic was automatically declared dangerous, and I was now a “Psycho”. The only person I was capable of physically hurting was myself, and even then it was unintentional.

I’m less Norman Bates and more Norm Peterson.

Even before the episode I try my best to be polite and decent towards people, complimenting them and impressing them with my encyclopaedic collection of Simpsons quotes. Yes, I do get angry and upset about certain things, but I vent out anger through cathartic video games (because I’m a nerd) and deal with sadness through comedy (because I’m British). Even now it can be too overwhelming to do that (I’ll get to that), but the one thing I’d never do is intentionally hurt someone, whether it’s a close friend or a stranger. I can only truly speak for myself, but having psychosis does not make you a monster, even if it makes you feel like one.

The existence of psychopaths throws a spanner in the works.

Sorry Mr J, but you’re not crazy. You’re just being a dick.

While this Cracked article goes into greater detail about psychopaths, I can’t emphasize enough the difference between psychosis and psychopathy. Ignoring all the other scapegoats mass shooting sprees are blamed on, it’s ultimately blamed on the nebulous term “mental illness”, particularly psychosis. The kind of psychopaths who go on mass shootings tend to plan them out weeks in advance, and if I’ve established anything in this list, it’s that going through a psychotic episode doesn’t make you the “planning things out” type. Even if their motives are twisted and selfish, psychopaths have a rational reason for their behaviour. People with mental illnesses are more likely to be the victims of violent crimes than the perpetrators. Being psychotic means you genuinely don’t know what you’re doing even if you think you do. Being a psychopath means you know exactly what you’re doing and you just don’t care. It’s the public’s confusion between the two that makes the stigma of mental health linger, but more people are being open about it. However, while psychosis can be dealt with through therapy, medicine and finding positive outlets to occupy your time, as for psychopathy, personally speaking, I think Bronn put it best.

An Open Letter To David Cameron

Dear Mr Cameron, I have a pertinent question that’s been playing on my mind for quite some time now, a question that I’m sure I’m not the only one asking:

Are you actively trying to drive Britain insane?

I bring up this question because I, along with thousands of other people in this nation, have had traumatic experiences regarding mental health. I had come out of a stressful working environment when I had my week-long psychotic episode. If it weren’t for the wonderful staff at the NHS mental health ward and the continued support of my friends, family and the Early Intervention team, I have no idea where I would be. I believe mental health issues are the root cause of a lot of problems in Britain and indeed the world.

None of of the policies that the Conservative party put into place are helping. In fact, they seem to be put in place with the sole purpose of making people stressed out, angry, isolated and depressed.

Firstly, there is the ever-increasing costs of both higher education and basic living. An average young person with reasonable aspirations for their future is saddled with a huge amount of debt after they graduate, not to mention the stresses of studying for exams beforehand. All of this money to pay for a piece of paper that might not even help them to get them the career they deserve.

Because our students can’t get the career they aspired for, they instead have to settle for low-end jobs that they are overqualified and underpaid for. Many of them have no chance of getting a mortgage or property of their own, and renting a property is also too expensive, so they have no choice but to stay with their parents.

Then there is the stress of the job itself. Employers who get away with treating their staff like mechanical drones instead of individuals, hiring one worker to do a 16 hour shift instead of splitting it for two employees. Jobs that barely pay above the minimum wage, meaning that whatever money people do earn goes mostly towards paying off bills and debts, leaving them with barely enough money to have a social life and enjoy the pleasures of life. This isn’t even going into the farce of zero-hour contracts, the distress of not knowing whether you’ll earn enough money to pay these bills and debts, let alone have a life.

All of these factors have a detrimental affect on Britain’s workforce, both physically and mentally. The human body is only capable of so much, yet individuals are pushed far beyond their capabilities, making them physically ill. They have to take time off work, meaning a dock in their wages, which in turn makes them more anxious about paying the bills and the cycle continues. Either through the whim of their employers or by reaching their breaking point, they are forced into the humiliation of unemployment.

Now, everyone deserves a break every now and then, but unlike you, not everyone can afford to jet off to an exotic holiday destination. Instead, they’re stuck at home fretting about how they can afford to keep on living on such a meagre living allowance. Ambitions are crushed and replaced with feelings of inadequacy. You claim to want to help these people, but instead you punish and victimise them at every turn. Having to go to a Job Centre every fortnight is embarrassing enough, but them people are made to jump through hoops in order to claim their allowance. You punish them by cutting off this money because for arbitrary box-ticking, deliberately ignoring extenuating circumstances that may lead individuals to miss a deadline through no fault of their own. You declare people “fit to work” in order to meet a quota, not caring if that person is physically or mentally able to work in the environment you’ve assigned them, then punishing them if they fail to comply. Perhaps worst of all, you encourage a culture that stigmatizes these people, labelling them as “benefits scroungers” when there are many unemployed individuals who are actively seeking the right career for them.

You may be aware, but continually ignore, the rise of food banks in this country. While the work of people who operate them, and the continued donations from the public are indeed admirable, the fact that food banks are even an option in the first place is appalling. Having to resort to them is another form of shame that you’ve forced people into, and even then you limit what people can receive. Diet is a vital part of mental health recovery. Not having access to three decent meals a day can lead to a number of problems, once again, both physically and mentally.

As a last resort, many of these people turn to drugs and alcohol out of desperation. Yes, this is a problem, we can agree on this. It is a strain on the NHS. But while you see this as a troublesome statistic on a spreadsheet, you fail to see the emotional, human aspects that affect both the individual and their friends/family. Addiction is a serious mental health problem in and of itself. Some people (including myself) have the resilience to overcome it, but many others aren’t so fortunate. But to you this is just another mess to sweep under the rug and ignore.

Given everything that I’ve mentioned, it’s no wonder people snap. Young people are discouraged from increasing their education and career prospects. Employees are anxious and stressed about their jobs. Unemployed people feel disenfranchised and sink into depression. Others turn to drugs and soon spiral into addiction. Parents can’t afford to feed themselves and their children, so have to make the choice to starve. In the most brutally tragic cases, people resort to suicide because they can no longer cope with this world. And, in my case, I see the state of Britain that you’ve facilitated and I created a psychotic fantasy where I thought I was Doctor Who.

So, given that Britain is going through a psychotic episode, the NHS is a godsend. They’ve helped and continue to help people like me get through the darkest times in their lives. It baffles me that you want to halt their progress by slashing their funding and pushing ahead for privatisation. This is why I’ve come full circle and concluded that you actually want Britain to go insane.

Coincidentally, it seems to be a recurring theme that people going through a psychotic episode hold the belief that the government is spying on them. The tragic irony is that these aren’t the delusions of the mentally unwell, or they really won’t be if you can push ahead with the blatantly malevolently-titled Snooper’s Charter. I won’t even get into the fact that you want to abolish the Human Rights act. I will give Britain some credit though: at least I had my psychotic breakdown here. If it happened in America, I could have been shot to death by police officers who could’ve easily just restrained me and taken me to a hospital.

Perhaps there is a reason you want Britain to go insane. Normally there isn’t a reason for insanity, but all of the factors I’ve listed are certainly causing mental anguish amongst British citizens. No, I think you want the rest of Britain to go mad because you and your fellow MPs are also mad. Unfortunately, egocentric narcissism isn’t an official diagnosis, but sadism definitely is. You help yourselves to thousands of pounds worth of bonuses you believe you deserve. You spend all day arguing and bickering in a big hall instead of going out into the real world. You actively make people’s lives a misery just because you can. You not only allowed children to be sexually assaulted and murdered, but you tried to cover it up.

When I was psychotic, I thought I was the Doctor. However, I don’t need to be a doctor to understand that you have some serious problems.

“Dracula” Review – New Vic Theatre

For well over a century, popular culture has had an obsession with vampires, with countless tales and variations on vampire mythology appearing in films, video games, comics and of course novels. Heck, the whole renaissance of comic book film adaptations started with Blade, and let’s not get into the Twilight phenomenon. Anyway, with vampires being so ubiquitous it’s difficult to ignore just how influential Bram Stoker’s original novel has become, with the titular Count Dracula and his rival Van Helsing being household names. The various adaptations of Dracula have seared the characters into our collective memory bank; even if you’ve never seen these adaptations or read the original story, you know almost everything about Transylvania, Dracula and how vampires operate because of Bram Stoker’s novel.

This brings me to the recent adaptation currently playing at Stoke’s New Vic Theatre, written and directed by Theresa Heskins. Before I went to see this production, I had a couple of concerns. Firstly, will this version of such a well-covered subject offer a unique vision, and secondly, given that the New Vic is both “In the round” and a relatively small space, how will this adaptation overcome these apparent limitations?

I’m pleased to say that Heskins’ adaptation not only overcomes these limitations, but comes out with flying colours because of them. The minimalist aesthetic actually heightens the creepy, foreboding atmosphere and also allows more focus on the story and characters. Two of the adaptations’ biggest assets are its lighting and sound design. In terms of sound, this adaptation uses a suitably chilling musical score and an impressive array of practical sound effects that bring the play to life. The lighting effects more than make up for the lack of huge, grandiose sets; they set the scenes just well enough that the audience can build up the rest with their imagination while also establishing a subtle, daunting mood. It really does demonstrate the dedication and talent of those who work behind the scenes in theatre productions.

The entire cast does an admirable job of bringing the story to life and giving their characters much needed depth. However, in my estimation the stand-out roles go to Jack Klaff as Dracula and John O’Mahony as his rival Van Helsing. Klaff is clearly enjoying his role as one of horror’s most iconic characters, channelling aspects of Bela Lugosi’s portrayal while adding his own mannerisms. Klaff’s Dracula is charismatic, slightly eccentric and most importantly, ominous. He holds a presence over the entire show even in scenes that don’t include him. O’Mahony serves as the perfect foil to Dracula, a character both fascinated by and dedicated to eradicating the undead menace, an affect that O’Mahoney sells completely. This is more a personal thing, but it’s also nice to see a horror protagonist completely opposite to the obnoxious teenagers usually found in modern horror films; Van Helsing is elderly, but is intelligent, pragmatic and enthusiastic.

Special mention must also go to the brides of Dracula, portrayed by Hazel Lam, Sophie Morris and Rebecca Rennison. While they don’t have many speaking lines, they succeed at bringing an ethereal, seductive charm to their roles as well as a genuinely haunting and unsettling presence. The acrobatic scenes where they elegantly swing from the rafters are mesmerising, standing out as highlights of the production.

Overall, this production succeeds as an adaptation, bringing a fresh vision on a classic horror story. The cast is terrific, the sound and lighting design is superb at creating a Gothic atmosphere and there are moments of genuine terror without relying on gimmicky jump scares. This comes highly recommended, especially if you’re a fan of horror and the vampire sub-genre. With the countless stories and films about vampires that have appeared over the years, it’s truly wonderful seeing the original Dracula show us all how it’s done.

Doctor Who Crossover Companion Compendium – Part 1

There’s no point denying it – I LOVE Doctor Who. I am a Whovian. While I’m enjoying Peter Capaldi’s portrayal of the Doctor, my Doctor will always be David Tennant, closely tied with Matt Smith. My favourite villains in the series are the Cybermen and the Weeping Angels still frighten me. I have the massive Vault book chronicling the 50+ years of the show. You get the idea. One of the show’s strong points has always been the Doctor’s companions; they’ve always been his morality leash, reminding him to keep his compassion and, for lack of a better term, his humanity.

Anyway, for this particular blog entry, I’m going to try an experiment in creative writing. In other words, I’m delving into the realms of fan fiction, more specifically the potential of crossovers. The fact the TARDIS can travel through all of time and space opens up multiple possibilities, and besides, the Doctor has been to the Land of Fiction before. Basically, I’m going to create a list of new companions for the Doctor from various other franchises and works, trying my best to explain why the Doctor has chosen them to travel with him and crank out a reasonable story from it. Hope you’re ready… Geronimo!

Luna Lovegood

Alright, let’s get the quintessentially British Doctor Who/Harry Potter crossover out of the way first. You’d think the obvious characters for this crossover would be Harry, Ron and Hermione. You’d be right, but they have enough adventures of their own without the Doctor showing up. Instead, I reckon a good character from the HP world to travel with the Doctor would be Luna Lovegood. I’ll be upfront and admit that it’s partly because she’s my favourite character from the series and adds some much needed levity to the increasingly dark nature of the later books with her quirky personality. She’s spacey, eccentric and upbeat, but occasionally she can be quite profound.

In summary, all these qualities would make her an excellent companion for the Doctor. He’s already eccentric, and having Luna around to be equally eccentric would allow for some hilarious banter between them. Perhaps he chooses Luna because he sees something of himself in her. Plus she’s proven in the books to be a loyal ally to Harry, something that would carry on with her friendship with the Doctor. And yes, there’s the fact that she’s also a talented witch with potential. With the Doctor’s knowledge of science and her knowledge of magic, they could be a formidable team. That could be the story…

The Doctor is investigating the hidden magical world and needs someone to help him understand it, so he chooses Luna who has recently graduated from Hogwarts. However, there are still Death Eaters out in the world who want to carry on Voldemort’s work, maybe to take his place as the most feared wizard. Plus, all this magic on earth is attracting alien races who want to harness it for their own nefarious ends. Speaking of magical girls…

Madoka

Anyone who’s ever watched Puella Magi Madoka Magica knows how dark it gets, de-constructing the prominent “Magical Girl” genre. However, the show’s main protagonist, the titular Madoka, tries her best to remain upbeat and optimistic throughout her experiences in the show. She’s polite, selfless, empathic and cheery, if a little naïve. She may not know much about the greater world, but she’s willing to learn while remaining a a decent person despite the horrible events that surround her. All of these qualities would make her a good companion for the Doctor. Now, what would be the story? I can’t really explain it without going into spoiler territory. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Initially drawn in by all the fluctuations in negative energy created by the Witches, the Doctor goes to investigate the phenomena. When he arrives he meets up with Madoka, and more to his interest, Kyubey, whom the Doctor recognises as an alien. The Doctor, like Kyubey, recognises Madoka’s potential as a Magical Girl, but in true Doctor fashion, he takes a shining to her. He takes Madoka on his adventures, hoping to help her learn about the universe, but also to keep her away from Kyubey. However, the Doctor of all people knows she cannot run away from fate forever. Also, the TARDIS seems obsessed with focusing on Homura’s timey-wimey shenanigans creating multiple timelines centred around her and Madoka, so the Doctor decides it’s time to face Walpurgisnacht. The events play out like the official show; Madoka transcends and saves the universe from the Witches, and the Doctor once again finds himself alone, with only him and Homura knowing of Madoka’s sacrifice.

R2 D2 & C3P0

Boy, that last one was a downer, wasn’t it? Time for some levity by suggesting his next companions are two of sci-fi and cinema’s most beloved robotic characters. Everyone remembers and loves K9, so it seems a shame that the Doctor hasn’t had a robotic companion since then. Allow me to “fix” that. R2 D2 and C3P0 already have memorable chemistry together; having them travel with the Doctor would enhance that friendship. Yeah, like everyone else in the Star Wars universe, the Doctor would initially see them both as mere tools, perhaps wary of them due to his history with both the Daleks and Cybermen, but over time would learn to treat them as true companions. OK, since the TARDIS has a translation circuit, C3P0 would be even more useless (aside from the hilarity of seeing him panic when encountered by a Sontaran), but R2 D2 could be fitted with sonic technology and could even connect to the TARDIS.

OK, how would the Doctor fit into Star Wars continuity? Perhaps he lands on Tatooine the same time R2 D2 and C3P0 do, his TARDIS picked up by the Jawas with him inside. He learns of R2’s mission to find Obi Wan and meets up with Luke. However, as the Doctor tags along on Luke’s adventure, his TARDIS is salvaged by Stormtroopers, who take it to the Death Star. Now, the Doctor is invested in helping Luke and the rebellion, because the TARDIS in the hands of Palpatine would spell disaster for the universe.

Anyway, while Luke and his friends escape the Death Star, the Doctor reclaims his TARDIS, but to his shock has discovered that the Empire has gleamed enough information from its data banks to alter the course of history and learn about the Doctor’s foes. The Doctor decides to spend some time in the Star Wars galaxy to help the rebellion and learn more about the Force, taking R2 D2 and C3P0 along with him for the ride. He even meets up with Yoda before Luke does, and the two of the decide that the Doctor cannot use time travel to interfere with Luke’s destiny. However, with their knowledge of the Doctor, the Empire forms a shaky allegiance with the Cybermen, in the process creating Cyber-Troopers. Before the events of Return of the Jedi, the Doctor, C3P0 and R2 D2 infiltrate the Cyber-Trooper base; during their visit they learn of the Empire’s plans to rebuild the Death Star using Cyberman technology… I could go on, but I think you get the general idea.

Liara T’soni

Time to move into the realm of video games, and what better place to start than the Mass Effect series? Like the Whoniverse, the Mass Effect universe is dense and full of potential for interesting side-stories and digressions such as this, and the Doctor could easily find a place in it. Why have Liara as the Doctor’s companion? Well, for starters, she’s an alien rather than human, and I think the Doctor should branch out from humanity for a bit. She’s also got a deep and interesting back-story, going into Prothean archaeology instead of following in her mother’s footsteps. She’s intelligent, inquisitive and eager to explore, so she’d be right at home on the TARDIS. Plus there’s the fact that she’s over a century old, meaning she and the Doctor share the bond of living a long life, and they both possess the ability for ‘melding’, meaning that Liara at some point would see inside the Doctor’s mind.

As for the plot? It takes place just after Mass Effect but before the events of Mass Effect 2 (and the Shadow Broker DLC). While the galaxy and Citidel are still recovering from the Reaper siege, Liara increases her studies of Prothean artefacts in a bid to prepare for further attacks from the Reapers. The Doctor, visiting the Mass Effect galaxy, is also intrigued by the presence of the Reapers and discovers Liara by chance. Together they team up to solve the mystery of the Protheans as well in investigate the return of the Reapers, as well as the Doctor exposing new worlds to Liara on the way.

Kara Zor-El (Supergirl)

OK, time for one more. Out of the vast selection of characters in the DC universe, there are multiple options for potential companions for the Doctor. I’m assuming that many people would love to see Harley Quinn in the TARDIS, but let’s be honest, that REALLY wouldn’t work. Sorry guys.

That’s why I settled on Kara Zor-El, more commonly known as Supergirl. I’m settling on the original character because, y’know, I’m not particularly interested in trying to decipher decades of DC continuity (though if you are interested, or at least amused by it, Moviebob made three summary videos trying to explain it all). Anyway, why Supergirl? Well, for a start it fits in with the Doctor’s companion usually being a young, pretty lady. But on a more interesting dynamic, the Doctor and Kara Zor-El share many traits. They’re both aliens who are humanoid in appearance, they both have super powers, they’re both survivors of a cataclysmic event that wiped out most of their kind (sort-of), they disguise themselves with an iconic alias and, perhaps most importantly, they want to use their powers to help people. They both have similar altruistic goals but accomplish them in different ways. The Doctor and Supergirl would understand each other and help each other overcome their loneliness, they could learn to compromise on how they go about saving the world and from a meta-perspective, there’s the combination of British and American heroics. Plus “The Doctor and the Girl of Tomorrow” has a nice ring to it. Not to mention the potential drama when the rest of the Justice League learn about the Doctor…

As for the stories? Damn. That’s not just a can of worms, it’s a cargo ship full of ’em. Combining the 50+ years of Whoniverse continuity with the 75+ years of DC continuity has near limitless potential. Lex Luthor getting a hold of Dalek technology? Weeping Angels in Gotham? A platoon of Sontarans wielding Red Lantern rings? Brainiac becoming the leader of the Cybermen? Let your imagination run wild!

So yeah, those are my first suggestions for Doctor Who Crossover Companions. Trust me, I have plenty more where that came from, and I’m sure you have some of your own.

Allons-ey!

Putting The Boot In

In an attempt to make my blog more hip and current, in today’s blog I’ll be discussing what’s been going on in geek/pop culture recently. The irony being that most of the hot topics involve franchises and properties that have been around since I was knee high to a grasshopper. If you’re reading this, chances are you already know about all this stuff; while I will provide a brief summary of them and provide some of my own thoughts on the topics, I’ll also take a step back and look at them all in the broader context of our current pop culture. Here we go…

Firstly, I’m pretty sure you’ve all seen this…

Let’s be honest here: this is pretty freakin’ awesome, mainly because it works so well on many different levels. I should preface that as a child of the 90s I did indeed grow up with the original Power Rangers, so there will be biases. While I do understand that this is meant to be seen as a satire of modern Hollywood’s obsession with grim and gritty reboots of nostalgic properties, this also works as a straight up action film, which in some ways undermines the point this short film is trying to make. The action and fight choreography is excellent, it has brilliant cinematography, the acting is appropriate for the tone of the short and overall it’s professionally put together. This is what happens when you let FANS make the films instead of Hollywood producers.

Take note, Mr Bay.

But herein lies the problem for me. Despite how much I enjoy this short, the reason I watched it was because it is a Power Ranger fan-film. As I said before, I loved Power Rangers as a kid. I had all the action figures. I watched the first movie with all my friends at school (my primary school sometimes hired a projectionist and we had movie nights). One of my first crushes was Kimberly. Zack was cool, and as cheesy and one-dimensional as he was, he was one of my first black role models. I even built my own Zordon’s Base, Blue Peter-style, with a cut-out photo of Patrick Stewart’s head as Zordon.

Be honest, he would make a good Zordon.

So yeah, big fan as a kid, so of course I watched this short film. But would I have watched it if it WASN’T based on the Power Rangers? What if it was an entirely original film, with new characters and a new setting? Despite how well-made this short is, and the point it’s trying to make, doesn’t it fall victim to Poe’s Law for many people? I’ll leave at that for now, but I’ll be coming back to this in a bit. Take notes, this will be on the test.

Anyway, the second bit of big news is that Disney are planning to reboot Duck Tales, the beloved Saturday Morning Cartoon that celebrated the excesses of the 1%. Nah, just kidding, this show was a great adventure romp reminiscent of Indianna Jones, with superb animation and fun characters. Like Power Rangers, this was another 90s kids show I enjoyed.

Plus it encouraged kids that if they work hard, they too could have their own pool of coins.

On the one hand, I’m glad the kids of today will get to see Duck Tales. But on the other, why not just show them the original cartoons instead of remaking them? The brilliance of the original show was that it was ultimately timeless, it isn’t bogged down and dated by (what was then) current pop cultural references. I’m concerned that this new version might try too hard to make itself look modern. OK, I will admit Scrooge making his fortune by developing a software company would be amusing, but it would get old fast.

Besides, remember the LAST time they tried to make Huey, Dewie and Louie “hip”?

Finally, there’s the news that Neill Blomkamp, director of the excellent District Nine, is going to make an Alien movie. This one makes me slightly optimistic; it’s going to be set after Aliens (one of my all-time favourite films), but completely disregarding Alien 3 and Resurrection. I’m cautiously optimistic about this, partially because I think Blomkamp will do a good job (though I think he should team up with Guillermo Del Toro and make some badass new Alien designs), but mostly because I want there to be good Alien films again. Besides, Robert Rodriguez, however briefly, put soul back into the Predator franchises, the Xenomorphs deserve the same treatment.

Pro-tip, Mr Blomkamp: take a look at this, then do everything opposite to it.

I should also point out that there’s a Kickstarter campaign for a sequel to Toejam and Earl. Dunno what to say about this. I never played the original. Sorry, but I was a SNES kid.

And at long last, I’m going to reach the point of all this. Given this current news, plus all the speculation and hype surrounding the new Star Wars, Terminator and Jurassic Park films, I have two questions: What does this all mean for pop culture as a whole? Is reviving all these nostalgic properties a good thing?

Technologically speaking, we’ve reached a point where CGI and practical effects can accomplish visuals that would have been deemed impossible only a few decades ago. The internet has allowed niche audiences to come together as large communities spreading the globe, not to mention how widespread pop-culture news can spread in the blink of an eye. And perhaps most importantly of all, us 80s and 90s brats are reaching the transitional point where we’ll be calling the shots.

And this man will be president.

Looking at recent trends in films, gaming and pop culture as a whole, Generation Y (or Generation Y2K) is currently the dominant demographic, and the various entertainment industries are all too willing to appeal to us. While all these modern reboots are attempting to attract a newer, broader audience, there’s no denying that they also exist to appeal to our nostalgia. Love them or hate them, the modern Transformers films got the ball rolling in terms of ‘updating’ nostalgic properties. In the process it gave us fan-boys and girls plenty of ammunition for one of the most popular topics on the internet:

“It ruined our childhood!”

Yeah, I get the point that College Humor and the Power Rangers short are making. Also, yes, it is incredibly cynical that the entertainment industry is essentially exploiting people’s childhood memories to make more money, draining the nostalgia well and rebranding old franchises as reboots, instead of, y’know, making something new and original that the kids of today can get nostalgic about when they’re our age. Thankfully it’s not all bad, the young ‘uns have great original shows like Adventure Time and Gravity Falls, shows that have our generation as a substantial periphery audience.

Time will tell if all these reboots will be worth the effort. Sturgeon’s Law suggests that they won’t be. However, if there’s one point I want to make with all of this, it’s that no matter how bad these reboots get, they can never really take away the magic, wonder and imagination of the original product. Mad about the recent Michael Bay TMNT film? Instead of watching it and getting angry, why not use the money you were going to spend on the DVD and instead use it to buy the 1990 film, or the cartoon series? Hate the 2014 Robocop film? Go watch the original instead! We live in an age where we can relive our childhood memories with the click of a button. Chances are you might cringe at the fact you used to like these cartoons and films, but in the best case scenario you’ll remember why you enjoyed them in the first place, and even better, as an adult you’ll appreciate the creativity, intelligence and sheer effort that went into making them (spoilers: I intend to do this with some of my future blogs). Good remakes provide a new generation with something you enjoy, and unless you’re a smug hipster, you should be happy about that. Terrible remakes only ruin the original media you love if you let them. If you can learn that, maybe Hollywood can too.

The REAL hero of Robocop

Despite growing up into an aficionado for cinema, particularly films from the 1980s, to my deep shame I had never seen Paul Verhoeven’s Robocop. For some reason I got a Robocop action figure as a kid anyway, because I grew up in an age where it’s apparently acceptable to make toys based on extremely violent sci-fi action films that also double as social commentary pieces. I never had the impetus to seek out Robocop, I got my fill of 80s sci-fi action from Aliens and Terminator, but there’s only so many times you can re-watch those films before you begin to work their entire screenplays into daily conversations.

Having missed out on Robocop for so long, it completely fell off my radar for years. Thankfully, the power of Netflix presented me the opportunity to watch Robocop, presenting me with two options: spend 103 minutes watching a film or 103 minutes aimlessly flicking through Netflix’s library deciding what film I might watch later. Remembering I was paying for a subscription, I promptly chose the former.

Since I enjoyed Verhoeven’s Starship Troopers for succeeding as both an popcorn action flick and a thought-provoking satirical film, I figured I might appreciate Robocop. Besides, when has 80s Sci-Fi ever let me down before?

Never, that’s when.

Anyway, I’m not here to do a review of Robocop. If you haven’t already seen it and are curious, give it a shot. I watched it on Netflix, so it’s not like it’s difficult to get hold of. Also, this article contains spoiler-ish content, so I suggest you go watch it now. We live in an age where you can open up multiple tabs on a browser and comprehend what multiple tabs on a browser means, so don’t worry. This article will still be here when you get back.

Back yet? Good. I’m here to talk about the real hero of Robocop, and why he’s due for his own spin-off franchise. I am of course referring to Bob Morton. Name doesn’t ring a bell? He’s an executive at Omni Consumer Products.

This Guy.

Wait, where are you going? Come back! Let me explain!

You all know how Peter Weller becomes Robocop. The first fifteen-to-twenty minutes of the film introduce us to Murphy, who as far as the audience and story is concerned is just another cop trying his best to protect the dangerous streets of Detroit. We get a glimpse of his family and professional life, establishing him as an honourable upholder of the law.

Then this happens.

Now, prior to the untimely death of Murphy, hotshot executive Bob Morton has just left the demonstration of the ED-209, a presentation that underwent some technical difficulties. Like any typical businessman who’s just witnessed his co-worker mowed down by machine gun fire, Morton sees the disaster as an opportunity to put forward his own project, the Robocop Program. All Morton and his team needs is a recently deceased volunteer to convert into an unstoppable crime-fighting machine.

That’s nothing. Last week, the photocopier on 5th Floor ate three members of the HR Department.

Conveniently for Murphy (and for Morton), he happened to die at exactly the right time that Morton pushed forward the Robocop Program at OCP. Given the high casualties within the police force in Old Detroit, Robocop could’ve easily been any other deceased officer. Even more conveniently, Murphy died at the hands of Clarence Boddicker, a notorious career criminal who turns out to be in cahoots with OCP Vice President Dick Jones and is the driving force behind the film’s plot.

At first, Robocop proves to be an extremely successful venture for the struggling Detroit police force and OCP. Crime rates are falling dramatically and the streets are safer. Who do the public have to thank for Robocop? A sleazy, profit-driven, coke-addicted, escort-bonking yuppie who probably would’ve been arrested by his own creation if not for the implementation of Directive 4. While Dick Jones uses Directive 4 to his advantage later on in the film, you can almost guarantee that Morton has it installed into Robocop’s hard drive to cover his own ass, just in case he tried to commit any crimes in front of the indestructible super-cop.

Of course Robocop and Morton face a problem when Murphy’s brain begins to remember his past life and the circumstances of his death. Prior to his dream about the day he was shot to pieces by Boddicker, Robocop was fully operational and producing results for the police force and OCP just like he was programmed to. While we as humans may never know if robots and computers dream of electric sheep, a human brain wired into a cyborg body will most likely dream of their past lives. In Murphy’s case, he wants to bring justice to Boddicker for destroying his life, which is keeping completely within his programming but raises a few ethical issues.

Now, to go off on a slight tangent, let’s compare this to popular sci-fi stories where artificial intelligence tries to destroy humanity. The usual explanation for AI like HAL and Skynet attacking humanity is because they perceive humans to be a threat to their own existence, practically acting in self-defence like most life-forms on the planet would. Despite Robocop being a machine that runs on advanced software that forces them to act within Directive perimeters (Uphold The Law), it still runs with the brain and what’s left of Murphy’s mind and memories. Murphy’s fragmented memories of his former life compel him to visit his wife and son (who moved from Detroit after Murphy’s funeral), and then to take action against Boddicker. It’s almost as if this heavily-armoured, nigh-indestructible crime prevention machine is acting of human impulse.

It’s legally sound to punch an estate agent if both of you are robots

What’s more dangerous: a software-driven automaton that simply follows commands from recognized authority, or the same automaton with a fallible, egocentric human brain that has its own ideas? Humans are exempt from Asimov’s Three Robotic Laws. They’re also exempt from traditional human laws whenever they feel like it (which is all the damn time, as demonstrated by the film). Is it any less ethical to control a human mind with computer chips and software to inhibit aggressive behaviour (and free will in general), even when the same human mind occupies and controls a machine already? I’ll admit I wasn’t expecting philosophical dilemmas from an 80s sci-fi blockbuster, but there you go.

So as I’ve mentioned, the rest of the film is essentially Murphy coming to terms with his post-resurrection existential crisis, bringing justice to Boddicker and his gang of stereotypically over-the-top 80s thugs, then discovering that he works with Dick Jones, the Vice President of the very company that is responsible for the Robocop Program. Of course if it was up to Jones in the first place, OCP would’ve never gone ahead with the Robocop Program, because the money could’ve been spent on building more ED-209 units. However, Morton went above Jones’ authority and went ahead with the program anyway. The success of the Robocop Program puts Morton in the running for OCP Vice President, news that Jones doesn’t take well to.

If you’re going to use threatening behaviour in the Executive Bathroom Suite, please wash your hands beforehand.

From a narrative point of view, Morton is clearly the second protagonist of this film, even if he is a completely amoral human piss-stain. Even though he is (most likely) unaware of Dick Jones’s illegal activity and partnership with Boddicker, he instigates the Robocop Program, deliberately throwing a spanner in Jones’s plans. He saw the very obvious design flaws of the ED-209 and came up with the far superior Robocop, a robotic, law-abiding version of Frankenstein’s monster. Hey, that’s essentially what Robocop is: even a jealous Jones refers to Robocop as a monster.

Robocop may be an abomination and an affront to God’s creation, but at least he can walk down a flight of fucking stairs.

After apprehending Boddicker (after nearly strangling him to death before Directive 1 intervened), Robocop proceeds to bring the justice to Jones, but is unable to do so because of the aforementioned Directive 4. He gets over this later on thanks to the joy of loopholes. As mentioned, the rest of the film is Robocop delivering sweet, sweet justice to the bad guys.

Unfortunately, MGM missed to opportunity to film Robocop vs. Toxic Avenger.

As for Morton, he gets blown up by Boddicker on Jones’s orders way before any of this happens. I bet a lot of you were thinking that this excessive, self-absorbed young urban professional got what was coming to him. Given the dire economic circumstances the world is in with Me First culture that rose to prominence in the 1980s being at the very least partially responsible, I’ll admit it was rather satisfying to watch.

Also, if you’re stupid enough to crawl towards a de-pinned grenade, then you probably deserve to die.

But then the moral compass lodged into my brain began pointing north. Sure, Morton was an asshole, at his worst he was a straw example of yuppie culture. But it was Morton and his team who headed the Robocop Program. Without Morton, Murphy never would have been resurrected, wouldn’t have remembered Boddicker was responsible for his death and wouldn’t have intervened in Jones’s plans. On my list of fictional corporate scumbags who deserve to be exploded, Morton was pretty damn low on the list. Even if Morton’s initial intention was profit, the Robocop Program brings law and order to the chaotic streets of Detroit, not to mention all the positive publicity that Robocop brings to OCP.

On an even greater scale, Morton basically proved that a human brain can be resurrected and put into a powerful cybernetic body. Murphy was shot in the skull at point blank range and is still capable of thought as Robocop, and he’s the prototype model. Prior to been blown up by Boddicker, Morton was in a managerial position at OCP, the world’s most powerful corporation. He headed the highly successful Robocop Program and had access to a team of doctors, technicians and programmers who bought a man back from the dead as an indestructible cyborg. As you’ve probably gathered already, my train of thought is about to reach the station…

Robo-Corp(orate Scumbag)!

Nintendrunk – 6 Drinking Games Based On Classic Video Games

So it’s Friday night. You have two options: go out with your buddies and get your drink on, or stay in and play video games. Option one has the downside of waiting several hours at a bar for an overpriced, possibly watered down beer while being bombarded with Pit Bull and Black Eyed Peas songs. Option two implies the crushing realization you’ve got nothing better to do with your weekend. Why not combine your love of video games with your appreciation of alcohol with your friends? Here is a list of drinking games revolving around classic games that’ll turn your regular party into a Mario Party!

Obligatory warning: Don’t play all these games all in one sitting. You’ll just embarrass yourself. Please drink responsibly. 

Mario Kart

I’ll be honest; this first idea actually came from this Buzzfeed page and was the seed from whence this article grew. If you have an inherent fear of opening links in blogs, I’ll give you a brief rundown of the rules: 

The aim of the game is to both finish the race AND finish your drink. However, because Buzzfeed advocates sensible driving (and because you’d get your controller covered in booze), whenever you go for your drink you have to pull up your kart by the side of the track. The winner is whoever finishes their drink and completes the course first.

Probably best to leave Rainbow Road out of the equation.

However, because I’m a genius when it comes to getting drunk and playing video games, I’m going to throw in a new rule. You’ll have to get some spirits and shot glasses prepared. Basically, if you get hit by an item like a Shell or Banana, you have to take a shot.

Having to down a shot of Sambuca is the perfect analogy for a Blue Shell.

Super Smash Bros

Ever wanted to get into a drunken fight without getting the police involved? Have I got the drinking game for you! This one is quite simple, even a child could play it, especially a child with terrible parents. In this beer-fuelled brawl, the players simply set the rules to Stock (Five if you’re feeling adventurous). But this comes with a twist.

Preferably a twist of lime and some salt.

Whenever a player gets knocked off the stage and loses a life, they have to take a shot. Courtesy dictates that the other players wait for the KO’d player to take their shot before you begin to pummel their drunken face. To keep things somewhat fair, if you knock out an opponent, you have to take a swig of beer (or your preferred drink of choice).

Finally, we’ll settle a decades-old argument about whether a hedgehog could beat up a plumber!

Other than those particular rules, the rest is up to you guys! I recommend mixing it up between each fight, choosing the most chaotic levels and switching characters. Remember, this is supposed to be a fun drinking/gaming session with your buddies, not some hard-core tournament.

I swear if I hear “all fox no items final destination” one more god-damn time, Brad…

Goldeneye 007

One of the few licensed video games where the developers actually put some effort into the license, Goldeneye will forever be remembered as a hallmark in the first person shooter genre. It’ll also be remembered by many 90s gamers as the destroyer of friendships thanks to the inclusion of its ever-popular multiplayer mode.

If you want to update it for a modern setting, simply yell racist insults at each other.

I’ve actually decided on two variations for this particular game. For the first drinking game, simply select the basic death-match mode and decide amongst yourselves the time limit. You’re then free to decide which weapon set you want to use (I recommend Rockets, or if you’re feeling particularly cruel, Golden Gun). Similar to the Smash Bros rules, if you’re killed, you have to take a swig of your drink. If you’re one-hit-killed by a rocket/grenade/mine/that god-damn asshole with the Golden Gun, you instead have to take a shot.

I think it goes without saying that Oddjob is banned.

While the same take-a-drink/shot-if-killed rule still applies, the second variation is more hilarious. Set the game to License to Kill (where one hit kills you) and the weapons to Slap Only. Then watch in awe as four drunkards run around a weapons facility trying to slap each other to death.

Come to think of it, this may have been the inspiration for Archer.

Tony Hawks

You’re a rebellious teenager who doesn’t play by the rules in the late 90s/early 2000s, but the emo genre hasn’t really been invented yet. You’re tired of these wannabe posers with their Britney Spears and Beanie Babies. Limp Bizkit speaks to you on a personal level that your parents and high school peers will never understand. Of course your game of choice is Tony Hawks Pro Skater, where you can kick-flip and grind to your hearts content without The Man trying to stop you.

Skating’s not a crime, mom!

Anyway, now you’re a reasonably adjusted grown-up, you can now enjoy virtual skateboarding with the added bonus of being legally old enough to drink! For this drinking game, go on Free Skate Mode in multiplayer. Next step, fill up two pint glasses with your choice of beverage. Your objective is to get your skating rival to finish their pint before you do. How? Whenever you perform a Special trick or work a Gap into your combo, your opponent has to take a swig of their drink.

And thus saith the Lord “Thou shalt perform some gnarly combos”.

Think it’s easy? Here’s the rub: if while you’re skating around drunk off your ass you happen to bail (which is very likely), you have to take a drink from your own pint. How much you have to drink depends on the severity of your bail. If it’s just a minor bail, like screwing up a trick, just take a sip. If your character face-plants the ground and is writhing in pain, man up and take a huge gulp. If you’re playing the Foundry level from Pro Skater 3 and you fall into a vat of molten steel, well… Use your imagination.

I think it goes without saying you should never try this with a real skateboard.

New Super Mario Bros. Wii

Ahh, there’s no game like the console outings of New Super Mario Bros that advocates four player co-operative game-play that promptly goes out the window once actual humans try to play it.

You guys gonna wait for me to catch up? No? OK…

Well, consider this drinking game a bonding exercise in cooperation and teamwork. You’ll need a variety of drinks on hand to enjoy this game. If you’ve played Mario games for as long as I have, you’ll know that you’ll die. A lot. Conveniently for this drinking game I’ve devised, if you die in co-op mode, your character will reappear on the screen trapped in a bubble, presumably contemplating the existential nature of their life and reincarnation.

Aren’t we all just dust in the wind, man?

Anyway, in this drinking game, the other players can free their trapped comrade – at a price. Whoever revives their recently departed friend chooses a beverage for them to drink. This process continues until the player loses all their lives or gives up and decides to go on their phone and post ill-advised Facebook statuses.

Pokemon

Since 1998 the Pokemon franchise has taught kids worldwide the value of capturing wild animals and forcing them to fight for your amusement. Now I’ve gotten that joke out of the way, allow me to combine the simple-yet-complex game-play of the Pokemon battle system with the joys of alcohol.

Let’s give a drunkard control of a primordial god, what could possibly go wrong?

Now this drinking game can be played with any of the handheld versions of the main RPGs, provided everyone’s copy can link up. Alternatively, so that everyone can see the action on a big TV and because there’s always that one guy who insists that only the original 151 count, you could go with Pokemon Stadium instead.

Umm, guys, this could take a while…

Anyway, both players pick three Pokemon to battle with and then pour three different drinks that they think matches the personality of their minions/pets. The players then go on to battle. However, mirroring that one episode of the cartoon where Team Rocket fight Ash in Viridian City Gym, whenever your Pokemon takes damage, you take damage too. No, I’m not suggesting you hook yourselves up to electrolysis pads (You can if you really want to, I’m not judging). Instead, you take a drink whenever your Pokemon takes a hit, matching how much you drink to how much damage they take. For example, if it’s a measly Tackle, you’ll only have to take a small sip, but if it’s an almighty Hyper Beam, prepare to gulp that shit down.

A sure-fire way to get everyone hammered.

Just remember, if you switch out your Pokemon, you also have to switch your drink. Obviously, the winner is the person with any Pokemon left standing. But in another, altruistic party-mood sort-of way, everyone is a winner.

A Semi-Formal Introduction

Hello and welcome to SuperAshBro’s Blog! I’m sure you have plenty of questions, like “Who are you?” and “What’re you doing here?”. Well allow me to answer some of these questions in my first blog post…

Who do you think you are?

Me? I’m SuperAshBro!

I gathered that. What are you doing here?

As of writing, I’m training to become a video game designer. As such, I’m currently planning to set up my own little company and website once my course is completed. This blog will be part of the website when it’s set up.

What’re you going to blog about?

Honestly, I’m going to take the Moviebob approach, where I generally talk about whatever subjects comes to mind, often revolving around pop/geek culture. Expect reviews, analysis, conspiracy theories, etc.

So, you’re a nerd, are you?

Pretty much, yeah. I think that was decided for me when I got an SNES for Christmas 1993 with Super Mario All-Stars. Playing those games inspired my decision to be a game designer. Without the SNES, I wouldn’t have played Super Star Wars (cementing my love of sci-fi), Zelda (same with fantasy) or become a huge gamer.

What type of “Nerd” are you?

First and foremost, I’m a massive Nintendo fan, Mario, Zelda, Pokemon, all that jazz. While Nintendo are my favourite company, I also own a PS2 and Xbox 360. I like my sci-fi stuff, primarily Star Wars and Doctor Who. I love Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones. I like Marvel comics, though one of my favourite superheroes is Green Lantern. Naturally, I’m nostalgic for the 80s and 90s. I like attending conventions.

My favourite film (that isn’t tied to a particular franchise) is “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”; loved it as a kid, but as an “adult” (a.k.a man-child) I appreciate the the trailblazing technical achievements and subtle social commentary, plus it solidified my appreciation for animation. I love snarky reviewers such as Charlie Brooker, Nostalgia Critic (and Channel Awesome in general), The Spoony Experiment, Jontron, Angry Video Game Nerd, Moviebob and similar stuff such as MST3K and Honest Trailers. Slowly but surely I’m getting into anime (so far I’ve watched Sword Art Online, Cowboy Bebop and Puella Magi Madoka Magica). And finally, I have a film cell of R2 D2 autographed by Kenny Baker.

OK, what else do you like to do?

You’ve probably gathered that I enjoy writing, have done since I was a kid. Obviously I like writing game design documents and jotting down ideas for potential video games. I also like writing poetry, stories and scripts and would like to make them on-the-side to my primary profession as a designer. I also like to draw; I’ve got folders and sketchbooks full of drawings, some of which are pictures of my various characters. Finally, I like to make figures out of pipe-cleaners and pompoms, which I take photos of. And, if you happen to bump into me at a convention, I turn them into key-rings to give to people.

Anything else you want to add?

Not really. You can expect to see most of what I’ve written here influencing what my blog posts will be about. For the most part I’ll avoid super-serious topics: this is a blog about analysing, embracing and enjoying nerd-dom. Here’s a picture of a dog dressed as Nostalgia Critic…

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